This series contains some reflections on why pastors are leaving their ministries. This is based on two-plus years of coaching dozens of pastors and ministry leaders, twenty-five years of pastoral ministry of my own, and relevant research. 

This is Part 2 of “Why the Pastors Are Leaving”:

A handful of people can make life miserable. 

If a pastor runs afoul of a few people, especially the “very important” people, watch out. This is probably true in any number of professions. But it is particularly insidious in churches. Because often, the sabotage is happening behind closed doors, and not brought to the pastors’ attention until it is too late. There are the “meetings after the meeting,” where things are discussed about the pastor’s performance 

I had the blessing of being coached by pastor and author Tod Bolsinger, who writes about this idea of “sabotage” in his book Tempered Resilience: 

“Sabotage is not the bad things that evil people do, but the human things anxious people do.”

When a pastor is seeking to lead a church while operating out of their deeply held values, it can create anxiety in the system of the church. That anxious feeling can lead some people to sabotage the work. That sabotage is often more quiet, whether it be saying “yes” publicly but not following through, withholding financial giving, or spreading narratives without all the information. Not necessarily because they wish to be divisive, but because they want things to stay the way they are. “The pastor is to blame,“ they say. And a small group of influential people in the church can soon drum up more resistance.

“Is all of this effort worth it?”

I heard some of this first during the years of 2020-2021. A pastor had served their church for decades, hoping to show people the beauty of the teachings of Jesus. And then watched his congregation belittle, demean, and painfully label one another on social media in a matter of months. 

In other words, pastors are wondering if their teaching, preaching, counseling and care of people have made any real difference.

We live in a world where people are increasingly influenced by social media, news, and whatever else their devices put in front of them. The hours spent consuming media of all kinds far eclipses the few hours spent in church, classes, or small groups. I hear the pastors make fervent calls to be “in church,” knowing that even their most faithful members are attending now far less than 2 Sundays per month. (*Though—interesting data shows that Generation Z churchgoers (born 1997-2012) are leading attendance frequency at 1.9 weekends per month).

I am hearing pastors wonder out loud whether the typical metrics of church attendance, giving, and building campaigns are actually good measures of life-change in people. But their primary training plus the system of the church are geared towards the Sunday morning gathering. So they just “try harder” to make that gathering better, get more people there. Tod Bolsinger again says here:

“The mistake good leaders make is they think they can outwork every problem. They just try harder until they’re exhausted. And they have to learn that in a crisis, you have to stop trying harder and you have to retrain for the new terrain.” 

Exploring with leaders what “retraining for new terrain” looks like is some of the most rewarding work I get to do.

If you’d like to know what I love most about coaching, click on the link below and watch this short video. I had the opportunity to speak with Ben Olsen, who led most of my coaching classes en route to my International Coaching Federation certification:

Link to Video Here

When you give to my work, you are investing in ministry leaders’ leadership health and helping to accomplish the vision of Standing Stone:  To see healthy ministries in every city transforming their communities for Christ. For my most recent impact report, click  here.

THANKS to recent gifts, I am now in need of $500 more in monthly support to reach my 2026 goal. If you, or your church, have any margin to give, OR if your workplace offers matching gifts, I’d love to be considered!

I meet and talk with over 40 pastors and ministry leaders on a regular basis.  I know of four personally that just left their roles, or are in the process of leaving.  Without breaking their trusted confidence, and including more general themes from other conversations in the past, here are some reasons I’m seeing pastors are leaving.  

They don’t feel aligned with the values of the church they serve.  

Most pastors I know were deeply formed by someone, or a particular church or ministry.  Their experience of God and their relationship to God has shaped them meaningfully. They read the Bible and see particular themes and have a special passion about teaching those themes.  They formed many values over years about what matters in ministry.  They bring those values into their context.  One problem is this: different places define the same words in very disparate ways.  Imagine this:  a pastor interviewing with a church says, “I care deeply about those in the community, and want them to experience life in Christ in this church.”  I don’t know of any board member or elder that would openly disagree with that value.  So, after much discernment, they hire that pastor, perhaps hoping that their interest in “outreach” will lead to greater attendance at the church. But the problem is when that pastor begins spending time in the neighborhood and community, and “not enough time” with church members that we have a conflict of values.  Or, if indeed the renewed interest in outreach leads to more people attending the church, some longtime members didn’t imagine it would lead to so much change of the things they held dear. 

There is much research on this, but here is an example:  in 2015, 72% of pastors reported being very satisfied in their vocation.  Recent data puts that number at about 50%, with pastors under the ageof 45 at 35%.  That satisfaction is directly tied to whether pastors feel like they are doing meaningful work that aligns with their deeply held values. 

“[T]he deeper question -whether your role is genuinely an expression of your gifts and strengths–requires a different kind of time and attention altogether. That’s the work most pastors haven’t had space to do.” Daniel Copeland, Barna’s Vice President of Research

They are tired…of conflict especially.

For a job where many think “you only work one day a week,” ministry and church leadership is exhausting.  I hear pastors talk about the feeling of “always being on.”  Pastors are expected to lead, expected to be present, and expected to be a particular kind of pastor as the circumstance dictates.  Because church members ALSO have deeply held values about what a pastor is and should be.  A beloved former pastor can cast a huge shadow for the current pastor. 

I subscribe to a publication from Christianity Today called CT Pastors.  Recently, I saw the “trending topics” on that platform.  They were:  Church Planting, Depression, Failure, Pastor’s Role, Energy, and Fun.  

According to a recent article, church conflict and burnout are the 2nd and 3rd most common reasons for pastors leaving.  (First is a “change in calling.”).  

Anecdotally, I notice that the most urgent situations that I get calls on revolve around conflict, or how to navigate a possible conflict.  Pastors have become very aware of how their leadership can bring negative feedback.  And they know that if they are trying to lead needed church change brings about conflict.  Being the leader who is blamed for “these changes” is particularly tiring.  

For the last 3 years, I’ve been meeting regularly with two other pastors, in different denominations from mine.  We were talking about recent national gatherings of our groups, and discovered the same thing:  pastors are leaving.  Pastoral church positions remain vacant. Seminaries, the schools tasked with preparing for the next generation of pastors, are declining rapidly in attendance.  (if you look into the research, a handful of seminaries are actually reporting an increase, but many historic and mainline seminaries have dropped dramatically in enrollment).  The three of us wondered what the future holds for many churches looking for pastors to lead them. 

These are just a few of the things I am hearing about why some pastors are leaving.  More to come in future posts!

Will You Give to Support This Work?

The apostle Paul wrote, “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.” (I Corinthians 9:22).  I have a lot of different roles I play in the work I do with ministry leaders.  Sadly, I won’t be able to keep some pastors from quitting. Sometimes that may be the best decision for them and their family.  But I do hope that my presence in their lives helps them discern and work through the various issues they face in leadership and life. 

When you give to my work, you are investing in ministry leaders’ leadership health and helping to accomplish the vision of Standing Stone:  To see healthy ministries in every city transforming their communities for Christ. For my most recent impact report, click  here.

I am still in need of $700 more in monthly support to reach my 2026 goal.  If you, or your church, have any margin to give, OR if your workplace offers matching gifts, I’d love to be considered!