“It sounds as if you’re more like the Queen of England.”

A coach for pastors told me about this phrase and phenomenon. With all due respect to the departed Queen, God rest her soul, the “Queen of England” moniker is when leaders are asked to play performative roles, but not expected or wanted to lead the institution or organization. We have others terms for this—“figurehead,” “mouthpiece,” and “leader in name only.”

I chose the picture above because it shows the singular swan, swimming amongst others…Canada geese. As I watched these birds that day, I remember watching how no one was paying particular attention to the swan. The geese swam around in their group, and kept to themselves. Over time, the geese swam off into an entirely different body of water, and the swan was left alone.

I found it interesting to later learn that mute swans were brought over from other parts of the world to decorate estates, ponds and lakes. Consider these words:

All of the Mute Swans in North America descended from swans imported from Europe from the mid 1800s through early 1900s to adorn large estates, city parks, and zoos. Escapees established breeding populations and are now established in the Northeast, Midatlantic, Great Lakes, and Pacific Northwest of the U.S. (https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mute_Swan/overview#)

Swans in North America were decoration. Much like some leaders may be decoration for an organization or institution, mute swans find themselves now in natural settings, but are not native to that land. You have to wonder if some of the native birds in our rivers and lakes keep their distance from these “decorative” neighbors, instinctively knowing, “You’re not from around here, are you?”

I found it interesting that the AllAboutBirds website referred to these mute swans as “escapees.” When the mute swans “escaped” from their estates, parks, and zoos, they established themselves in other environments. I wonder how many leaders wish to escape their present environments, tired of “adorning” their organization?

I recently watched a “State of Pastors Summit” put on by Barna Research. As of September 2023, 33% of pastors surveyed were considering quitting ministry, and 60% were doubting their sense of calling. 75% of C-Suite Executives, managers, and employees in July 2023 were considering quitting their current role for a role that focused more on their well-being, according to a survey of 3,150 people by Deloitte. Admittedly, these statistics may not be solely tied to leaders feeling like “decoration,” but we are seeing a great time of reflection and reassessment among leaders in the faith-based space and corporate world. Underneath these statistics may be a prevailing sense of wanting to be cared for and valued.

In my last post, I spoke of Jesus teaching us to “consider the birds of the air.” This is what I’m learning by watching the swan. Jesus would go on to say that we are to see how God provides for the birds, so we can rest in the knowledge that we will be cared for as well—for we are of much more value in God’s sight.

The walks down by the American River here in Sacramento brought me time to reflect…and capture more photos of this singular swan. Pictures like the one above (I’ve got many!) show me many things. Last month, I mentioned the loneliness of leadership. 70% of pastors report NOT having someone they consider a close friend. (Barna, 2023). Harvard Business Publishing reports that same 70% among new CEOs.

Harvard Business Publishing noted that more than 70% of new CEOs report feelings of loneliness, a sentiment not exclusive to them but prevalent across various leadership levels. Loneliness is particularly acute among individuals newly promoted to leadership positions. The implications of such loneliness are profound, likened to the health impact of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.  (From the Perceptyx blog)

The importance of having someone walk alongside us in leadership cannot be underestimated. To have someone listen to us when we feel “muted” is crucial. I have learned that this swan is a “mute swan,” so named because it is less vocal than the aptly named “trumpeter swan.” It is not that the mute swan is completely silent. It is simply “less vocal.” For me personally, that phrase resonates. Moving from speaking nearly every week to hundreds of people to a posture of listening has already made me notice several things. The rise and fall of adrenaline in my body has changed. (Though I have still had dreams of getting up to speak and not being prepared—that raises my adrenaline!).

Something else I have recognized is this: how much I have relied on my many words—even in my family—to bring about change. I have believed that if I just have the opportunity to explain myself more, use the right metaphor, illustration, and tie it all together with a powerful story, that everyone will see things my way! Being ‘less vocal’ might also be a good posture for leaders in general. To listen first, be “slow to speak,” and not rely solely on leadership by voice may be what is needed in this moment.

I have heard from other leaders throughout the years, and experienced myself, the feeling of being “muted” in leadership. Whether it is not knowing how to lead with clarity, or trying to speak for what needs to change and it coming across wrong, or being misunderstood, leaders in every sphere can feel muted.

The work I am aiming to do among leaders has a certain silence about it. That is, because it is confidential care and coaching, I cannot share all the details of stories of this ministry. For these reasons and many more, I think God might have placed this mute swan on this little body of water to get my attention. After all, wasn’t it Jesus who said, “Consider the birds…” 

I am now serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/