Too Soon?

Ever had that experience of a friend—never you, of course—that attempts to make a joke, only to realize that the timing of that was just a bit too soon to be laughing about it? For example, you see it in sports fans, making fun of another team’s struggles, only to discover its fans are still grieving. (The Seahawks Super Bowl loss to the New England Patriots in 2015 is still “Too Soon” for me).

This might seem like a “hot take,” but I wonder if inviting people that haven’t been to church ever, or if it has been a while—to worship at a church is “too soon.” I mean in the real sense of too soon, NOT the-making-a-joke-kind of “too soon.” That is, those of us that are part of a regular worshipping community don’t understand how strange worship can be. And, our default idea is to just invite our neighbor, co-worker, classmate or friend to church, and let that experience take over. It may be “too soon.”

Over the last several weeks, we’ve talked about how we enter into, and deepen, our apprenticeship to Jesus, and invite others to do the same. I’ve tried to make sure to articulate that this is not THE path, or the ONLY way it works. But, we do see patterns in the Bible, and in our experience, that often this is how things develop. First, we often CONNECT with someone or a group of people that are following Jesus. Then, if interested, we begin to LEARN through them and the Scriptures more about the person of Jesus. In seeing the example of Jesus, and hopefully the practice of that community, we may begin to SERVE out of the gifts and experience that God has given us. I’d like to suggest that there is another aspect of our apprenticeship that is WORSHIP—but that it might come later on the pathway.

In Matthew 28, we are told that two women—Mary Magdalene and “the other Mary”— go to the tomb of Jesus. An angel is sitting on the rolled-back stone that covered the tomb, and his appearance is frightening. The angel speaks to the women, telling them to tell the other disciples that Jesus is risen from the dead. While they hurry away “afraid yet filled with joy,” Jesus himself appears to them. He simply says, “Greetings!” And the women fall down and worship him.

It strikes me that the word “worship” is used sparingly in the gospels and New Testament as a whole.  The Book of Revelation uses it the most, which makes sense because it is portraying a vision of things to come—when the fullness of God’s plan is revealed to all of creation.  

It seems that worship in the gospels comes mostly after Jesus has risen from the dead. [aside from the Magi worshipping the infant Jesus at his birth and Satan tempting Jesus to worship him]. It is the culmination of seeing the power and plan of God that cause people to bow down and worship. The women in Matthew 28, and the disciples, truly worship when they fully witness the power and plan of God as revealed through the risen Jesus.

I grew up outside the church. I didn’t step foot in one until I was sixteen—unless you count the time my practicing-Catholic grandparents had me attend a service on a cruise ship. I still find it interesting that many people think the first step in inviting a friend or co-worker who may be seeking God is to bring them to church. My own story involved connecting with people who exhibited the love and community of Jesus, beginning to learn by reading the Scriptures on my own and in community. It would be much later that I joined in a worshipping community.

I do not mean to make my experience normative for others. But many others, Alan Hirsch being one*, write about how there is a widening sense of “cultural distance” between people now and the experience of church.

I wonder if seeing worship as a later stage in our path of discipleship to Jesus might make us more patient with others. Or, actually spend more time with them showing the love and grace of Jesus, before inviting them to church. It also may help those of us trying to follow Jesus more deeply, recognizing that we have not allowed certain areas of our lives to bow down to Jesus’ lordship. If this process has truth in it, perhaps we are all learning to worship the risen Jesus fully in all areas of our lives. It has been said by others that we all worship something, but to change the object of our worship might necessitate a longer process of connecting in community, learning, and serving. But—the good news is—that when we allow that process to take place in ourselves and others, the end result will be worshipping the risen Jesus.

*(See this article for more explanation: https://www.christianpost.com/news/alan-hirschchurch-model-reaching-only-40-percent-of-americans.html)

Your Serve

We’ve been talking the last few weeks about a “path for discipleship” here at our church. Path means a lot of different things to different people. Some people might interpret it like a formula—-start here, then go here, and you’ll end up here. I think we all know by now that God does not always work in such clear ways in our lives. Yes, there is a process to our growing in the knowledge and love of Christ. But it may start in different places, and it does not “end”—it matures and deepens—but does not “end.”

Perhaps the idea of an “ecosystem” (like a garden) is more helpful (see the link below for more: https://www.experiencerooted.com/2022/10/pathway-and-ecosystem-two-views-of-discipleship/).  

That is, when you enter into a garden, there are different plantings, but depending on where you enter, and where you are drawn, you may start and linger at one planting before another.  A community of followers in a church can be like that ecosystem, providing a variety of plantings to help people grow, but it depends on the person where they start and go next. 

Still, we can look at how Jesus brought people into discipleship and apprenticeship with him, and learn from Him.  He connected with people, taught them, and then sent them out to serve.  And serving is what I want to talk about today.  

It is clear from the gospels that Jesus intended his disciples to DO something with their apprenticeship to Him.  Early in his training of them, Jesus sent his disciples out to heal, preach, and cast out evil.  

The word Jesus chooses is diakonia, which has a connotation of table-service, as seen here:  “For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.”  Luke 22:27

Jesus’ followers would have seen daily the example of people sitting at table being seen as having greater honor in society, with those serving food and drink considered lower.  Jesus was telling (and showing) his disciples to adopt the attitude of being a servant, to seek the good of others by serving them.  

In our growing and learning from Jesus, we should reach a place where we begin to look for ways to serve others.  Regardless of the perceived status of the serving, followers of Jesus can grow into a place of seeking out opportunities to bless others.  Whether it be tangibly helping a family in crisis by making a meal, spending time with children in a nursery or volunteering in a school, visiting a home-bound friend, cleaning up a local park—there are countless ways to serve.  

What’s Your Serve?

Teaching = Freedom?

Does teaching bring…freedom?

Ask any school aged child or teenager, and you’ll rarely get any of them to say that their schooling feels like freedom.  [Of course, ask any child in a different culture for whom school has been kept from them, and you’ll get a different answer!]  

But what if some teaching is better than others?

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:31

In previous notes/posts, we’ve talked about how integral Jesus’ teaching is to being a learner of Jesus.  Jesus taught primarily about the kingdom of God, because he wanted to correct false assumptions about the character of God, and wanted to proclaim a message of good news about what God was doing, and will do, in the world.  Through many illustrations, he talked about what the kingdom is like, what God is like, and the unexpected nature of the kingdom and its availability to those considered to be on the outside.  

Here, we see Jesus telling us plainly that holding to his teaching is a marker of discipleship.  And, the truth of his teaching will free us from the things that enslave us.  

Of course the crowd that first heard these words argued with Jesus.  They focused on the last word—free—and argued that they weren’t slaves.  We might have the same reaction.  We have a hard time identifying the things that hold us captive.  We say we can quit [coffee, gossiping about others, social media, Netflix shows, fill in the blank] anytime, until someone actually challenges us to do that.  

I did a little digging into the first part of Jesus’ words here.  When he says “teaching” the word used is logos.   When he says “hold to” the word is meno, which means to remain, dwell, or abide.  

Jesus says something similar a few chapters later when he says:

“Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.”  John 14:23

The word “home” comes from the same root as meno, to dwell or abide. 

It seems that Jesus is saying that if and when we dwell in his words, his teaching, his message, that in turn the Father and Son will dwell in us.  And, the idea that truly living in the words and teachings of Jesus sets us free from things that enslave us is a profound one.  

May we give ourselves to the teaching of Jesus, and find the truth that brings freedom.

‭‭

They Will Know Us By Our…

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

‭‭John‬ ‭13‬:‭34‬-‭35‬

I remember the first person who really taught me about the truth of this idea. He was an international student from the Middle East. He grew up in a different culture, a different religious tradition—and he told me about our college ministry community: “The first time I saw this group of people, there was something different about them. You could tell you all loved one another.”

I wonder if we really believe how real these words of Jesus are.

Jesus says something remarkable here.

How can we tell if someone is a follower of His?

That they are learning from Jesus about how to live their lives?

By loving others.  And specifically, a love first for others that are following Jesus, that then spills out to neighbor, co-worker, classmate, teammate, and friend.  

The context of Jesus’ words here is Jesus speaking to his eleven closest followers—Judas has left the Passover meal to betray him.  Some commentaries point out that Jesus—knowing that the cross would take him away from his followers, leaving his friends with so many doubts and questions—that Jesus was telling his disciples to stick together, to stay close to one another by loving each other in the hardest of times.  

The implications for this are fascinating to me.  Jesus is saying that other people will be able to really see the love for one another in a community, and know this comes from their adherence to Jesus.  

Of course this raises all kinds of questions.  What does this love look like?  

Is it a feeling?  An action?  An acceptance of others no matter what?  

Consider this definition:

Christ’s love is no timid meekness, no sentimental mildness, inoffensive and ineffectual, helpless in face of the world’s evil. It is a strong determination to seek others’ highest good in all circumstances, at any cost. On that simple but demanding principle hang all moral obligation and divine law. To love is enough.—Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible

But what about the “loving first” those that call themselves followers of Jesus?

Another resource says this specifically about John as the gospel writer and author of several letters:

…love for one’s fellow Christians does not exclude, but instead leads on to, a wider love (cf. 2 Pt 1:7). John insists that God loved the whole world (Jn 3:16; 1 Jn 2:2; 4:14). Moreover, if love fails within the Christian fellowship, it certainly will not flourish beyond it but evaporate in mere words (1 Jn 3:18). Tyndale Bible Dictionary

There is something vital about love flourishing within a community that calls itself Christian.  When it exists in healthy ways, people notice.  

When we talk about a path of discipleship to Jesus, we must understand that most people will connect first with us—as individuals and then a group—and when they do, what will they see?

May they see the love of Jesus poured into us, and out through us, to seek the highest good in all circumstances, at any cost.

Nailed It

Nailed It.  Slang

Nailed it is an expression used to comment on the successful, skillful, or clever completion or performance of something. It’s often used sarcastically in reference to efforts that comically failed.  (Dictionary.com)

How many of us have been at a high point, only to come crashing back to earth in spectacular fashion?

If we embark on the adventure of following Jesus with our whole lives, undoubtedly we will have moments like these.  Crystal-clear clarity followed by a fantastic fall from understanding.  

If you read Mark 8:27-38, you’ll see both of these.  Peter correctly identifying Jesus as the Christ, the Messiah—the anointed King that God’s people were long-expecting. Jesus then tells his friends what must happen to him—suffer, rejection, be killed, and after three days, he will rise again.  Peter pulls Jesus aside and rebukes him.  One definition of “rebuke” is this:  “The practice of pointing out another’s mistake, fault, or sin for the purpose of correcting behavior.”  (Lexham Cultural Ontology Glossary). In other words, Peter was trying to correct Jesus.  Just think of it—telling Jesus he is wrong!

Peter nailed it.  In both definitions.

Jesus, in turn, rebukes Peter.  He plainly tells Peter that he does not understand the mind of God in this, and is influenced by the ways of others.  Jesus then calls out to the crowd with the other disciples and teaches this:

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”  (Mark 8:34)

Our lives following Jesus will be ones where we can expect correction from our Lord.  And, we must learn to discern which of our desires need to be denied, and which ones expressed.  This all involves trusting that Jesus is the source of all wisdom for our lives today, and following Him truly leads to abundant life.  If Jesus truly is the Christ—as Peter correctly said—will we entrust ourselves to Him and what He wants to do in us and through us for the world?

WWLD?

What would…Lucifer do? (If you Google WWLD, this is what you’ll find first)

But there are some other ones that came up:

What would…[Ted] Lasso do? (Actually a great question that others have written about already).

What would…Lincoln do?

But that isn’t what I wanted to write about. None of those…

Instead:

What

Would

LOVE

Do?

I was talking with a good friend recently—who is trying to discern some things in his life. He said he has been asking a question that has been very helpful: “What would love do in this situation?”

I asked him later where he got this from, and he said he had been reading Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation by Ruth Haley Barton. She says it like this:

“The second foundational building block of the discernment process is the belief that love is our primary calling. This, too, may seem like a strange place to begin, accustomed as we are to thinking our way into decisions through intellectual exercises such as listing pros and cons. We may think our decisions are about the details of where we live, who we marry, what job we take, but for the Christian person, the choices we make are always about love and which choice enables us to keep following God into love. There may be other factors to consider, but the deepest question for us as Christian people is, What does love call for in this situation? What would love do?”

—Ruth Haley Barton (Chapter 7, “Discernment” from Sacred Rhythms).

I found this to be such a profound thought.

When we root the definition of love in the person of Jesus, we have so many layers to our answers. Love would set people free, speak the truth, heal, and battle evil. Love would sacrifice for others. And, in the words of the apostle Paul, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” (I Corinthians 13–the whole definition of love is worth reading and meditating on). These definitions keep us from falling into the love that limit it to a feeling. Love moves toward people without being consumed by their agendas. Love is to “will the good of others.” (Dallas Willard).

Perhaps you are in a place where this question might help shed light on the situation. You’re facing a decision, a change, navigating a conflict, facing a challenge you’ve never faced before.

What would LOVE do?

The Importance of a Guide

I was twenty-two years old. My closest friend had the two of us on a “big adventure every summer” kick…Every summer, the two of us would come up with a big adventure and invite others along. We got into whitewater rafting. In the past three summers we had rafted a river in Washington State (but it had to be the one with the most Class V rapids), one in Colorado (again, had to be the one with an eight-foot drop towards the end), and one in West Virginia (the Upper Gauley, widely regarded as one of the top rivers in the world for whitewater rafting…and if I remember correctly, the river that day was on the border of being unrunnable due to the water levels.  We all fell out, some of us multiple times).

We got through our whitewater rafting phase and decided that we’d try mountain climbing. The obvious first choice was the tallest peak in our home state of Washington, Mount Rainier. It is 14,411 feet tall.

For those that haven’t had the pleasure, this is what the climb is like. (It was over 20 years ago, so details may be exaggerated to enhance my image). You start at a place called Paradise, at 6,000 feet. You hike all day, and reach a place called Camp Muir, at about 10,000 feet. You eat a freeze dried dinner, and they tell you to climb into bed around 7 or 8pm, and try to fall asleep as soon as you can.  Because they wake you up at 2am.

[Photo credit: http://www.sovereignsportsman.com/wounded-soldiers-take-on-mt-rainier/%5Dmt-rainier-night-climb-812x1024

You strap on your headlamp, put the crampons on your boots, get your iceaxe in your hand, and you start climbing. They reason they do this is so that when you get to several of the ice bridges, they are still solid, and the snow isn’t slick from any melting.

Anyway, our group was one of the last groups to leave the camp. But our guide, emboldened by the fact that our group might be one of the first ones to make the summit that summer, pushed us pretty fast. Only about 50% of people who attempt to summit Mt. Rainier do so in a season. Anyway, we were passing other groups along the way. As we got higher, more and more people were being left behind. Not by themselves, but usually in pairs. They were told that we would get them on the way back down.

Our guide was pushing us so fast that by the time we were close to the summit, we were the first group. We sat down to rest on what I remember felt like a steep slope to get some water and a snack. I thought I was going to pass out. The altitude had started to do things to me. I was exhausted, and I had this depressed feeling like I didn’t want to go on. I just wanted to sleep, and began to hope that someone would carry me back down the mountain to safety.

My guide was coming to check on each of us, and I remember him asking something like, “How you doing?” I started to mumble something like, “I don’t think I can do this. Why don’t you…” He didn’t let me finish. He grabbed my helmet in his hands, looked me square in the eyes and said with a determination: “You are forty-five minutes from the summit. You are so close. You can do this.” Maybe it was the tangible number of minutes that caught my attention. When you don’t know where you’re going, one of the hardest things is wondering when you’re going to get there. Maybe it was his confidence that I was going to make it, we were going to make it. Whatever it was, when it was time to get up and go, I got up, and went. And we made it. We reached the summit, I remember looking out at the sun that had come up, and we descended into the crater. And I fell asleep. It was some time before other groups made it up, and I got a nap on the top of a 14,000 foot peak.

It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. Physically draining, emotionally and mentally draining.

I am grateful to that guide.

I’ve talked to the team that I work with at the church I serve that we need to see ourselves as guides. [Grateful to Donald Miller and his Storybrand series for bringing this to our attention] Life is a journey, and we want to equip people for the journey. Our desire, our mission, is to help people become life long followers of Jesus. And, we want to bless our community in His Name. That means we have to be trained, we have to keep learning the routes, know the dangers, and be able to come alongside people when they want to quit and tell them they can make it.

And, we need to do that for each other. There are going to be times for all of us when we wonder if it is worth it. When we’re exhausted. When people question the way we guide.

The more I think about it, the more I think the church might need to see itself as a mountaineering club. All of us are climbers, and yet all of us are guides. Some of us have been climbing longer than others, so we help those that are just starting to climb. At the same time, there have been those that, regardless of how long they’ve been on the mountain, have seen some routes in life that they have navigated. Cancer, divorce, miscarriage, losing a job, losing a loved one to an accident.  Some, unfortunately, have climbed several of those routes.

Maybe someone reading this right now is where I was on that mountain decades ago.  Saying, “I don’t think I can make it.”  If you are, I earnestly pray that God shows up as a guide—gently holding your head in His hands, looking into your eyes, and saying…”You’re going to make it.  I am with you, and I’m not leaving you.”  And that God surrounds you with fellow climbers and guides who speak that hope into you again and again.

Jesus Threw Things

You thought this would be about Jesus throwing and turning over tables, didn’t you?

Bet you didn’t think someone had used Jesus to advertise disc golf, did you? (I sure didn’t)

He taught them many things by parables…Mark 4:2

At the church I serve, we hope to be a community that is making disciples—life-long learners and followers of Jesus.  We began a series, called “Disciple Like Jesus,” to more deeply look at exactly how Jesus made disciples.  After inviting people to follow, Jesus spent a significant amount of time teaching.  His primary way of teaching was through parables.  This word, from the Greek verb “to throw beside,” speaks of the way Jesus would take something from the natural world and “throw it alongside” his teaching about what the kingdom of God was like.  In fact, we see Jesus introduce many of his parables like this:  “This is what the kingdom of God is like…”. Then, we see him introduce a character, whether it be a farmer, a woman, a landowner, or a king.  And what that character did—planting, kneading dough, etc.— would have been easy for the crowds to understand.  However, in these parables, Jesus had the character often do something unexpected!  The surprise of the parable was often what captivated the crowds, inviting them to discuss, ask questions, and reflect more deeply.  The parable was to invite everyone into the story and ask, “What does this mean?”

If we are to make disciples like Jesus, then teaching like Jesus, and teaching about Jesus will certainly be integral to what we do.   May we invite people into the story of Jesus, and discover that the marvelous kingdom of God is revealed in his teaching!

May we throw like Jesus.

I’m Obviously Not A Blogger

For the past 18 months, I’ve been writing short pieces for our church email newsletter. These were simply thoughts and questions on the texts and themes we were talking about when we gather on Sundays. It did not occur to me to post these on my blog, which has sat dormant for some time now. Obviously, I am not a “blogger.” Today, I compiled those brief pieces of writing into documents that cover 2022 and 2023. If any of these titles sound interesting to you, click on them, and you’ll see how the themes progress through the weeks and months we were covering these things. [ I didn’t include the writings of my associates, as those are theirs.] You can find them in our church website archive at fremontpres.org.

One thing that struck me as I read through these: I mention several of my “mentors-at-a-distance,” who have now passed away. I grieve the passing of Earl Palmer, long-time pastor of University Presbyterian Church in Seattle (the first preacher I ever heard in a church), and Tim Keller, founding pastor of Redeemer Church in New York. Keller’s work on the book of Jonah especially shaped our series here. I am incredibly indebted to them and their shaping of my thinking and preaching.

I plan on resuming weekly notes in August of this year. Our upcoming themes will be on how Jesus taught and commissioned his followers, how the prophet Isaiah reveals God’s heart “With and For the City,” and then, how Jesus speaks about what a generous life looks like.

I hope you enjoy reading!

Grace and peace, David

“I’m Just Saying…”

I’m a bit of a student of language. 

I always find it interesting when a certain phrase becomes commonplace.  This one is on the way out, but remember, “I know, right?”  Whenever you were talking with someone, and they agreed with what you’re saying, they often would say, “I know, right?” 

When I lived in the South, this was a good one.  “Bless his heart.” “Bless her heart.”  It was license to then say whatever you want.  Like this, “Bless his heart, but he’s as dumb as a rock.”

Now, it’s “I’m just saying.”  This usually follows a stinging criticism.  As in, “You’re a narcissist, egomaniac, and a control freak.  I’m just saying.”  (Some of you might recognize this as a description of a certain someone of a popular reality TV show.  Don’t judge.)  While “I’m just saying” wasn’t said there, it could have been.  It’s a curious phrase.  We tack it on, like it lessens the harshness of the words? 

Don’t judge again, but I have a bit of a sarcastic streak in me.  So when I hear someone say, “I”m just saying,” I kind of want to say: “Oh, I thought you were just being harsh and judgmental….but you’re saying that you’re just saying.”  What does that even mean?

We have a Christian equivalent.  When we want to harshly say something to someone, we can tack on, “Hey, I’m just speaking the truth in love.”  It comes from a portion of a verse in Ephesians 4.  It is totally taken out of context.  But if we’re honest, we like to do that with the Bible—take things out of context to suit our purposes. 

The whole context of the passage where Paul writes these words is much different than an interpersonal conflict.  Paul is writing to a group of believers in a city called Ephesus, modern day Turkey.  The believers in Jesus there are surrounded by all kinds of influences, including the city dedicated to the worship of the goddess Artemis.  In a fascinating story, you can read more about that in Acts 19–how Paul wanted to speak in front of a frenzied crowd chanting the name of Artemis! 

But Paul’s letter to the believers in Ephesus was meant to encourage them—to help them remember they indeed are adopted sons and daughters of God.  To encourage them to remain steadfast, growing in their knowledge and love of Jesus.  Paul wants to remind them of what they once were, so that they might not judge others.  And how the grace of God has made them new.  In the 4th chapter of the letter, Paul calls to the Ephesians to live out their identity, forgiving one another, growing together in maturity.  Each one, Paul says, is to use the gifts given to them for the greater community. 

Then, Paul decides to talk about babies, boats, and gamblers.

In a mixture of metaphors, Paul writes, “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teachings and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.”   First he talks about infants, or babies.  When a group of people commit themselves to using their God-given gifts for the greater good, bringing about unity and maturity, we will no longer be babies.  That metaphor didn’t seem to be enough, because Paul then talks about boats.  Boats in a storm are those tossed back and forth in a storm.  I reached out to a sailor in our congregation, and he told me that a boat without a direction is in trouble.  He wrote,

When a ship is not holding to a specific course it is simply at the mercy of the sea just like a piece of driftwood.

Finally, Paul talks about the cunning and craftiness of people.  The word Paul chooses for “cunning” is an interesting one.  It is the Greek word, “kubeia,” which literally means “dice-playing.”  The connotation here is a cheating gambler that loads the dice to deceive those playing. 

Paul, having spent time with believers in Ephesus, must have known the challenges they faced.  Being new to the faith, being without a course or direction, and perhaps being surrounded by those wanting to deceive them.  How do you stand in the face of all that?

Well, it is out of all that that Paul writes, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is Christ.”  The implications are many, and it’s pretty hard to justify using “speaking the truth in love” as a Christian version of “I’m just saying.”  Paul says we speak the truth in love—and in so doing, we will grow up to become a community that reflects Christ to the world.  Sure, we might speak the truth in love to someone else in our community, but the foundation is love, and the goal is maturity and growth. 

Let’s be honest.  Sometimes those that call on Christ are known way more for “just saying” things that aren’t done out of love at all.  In reading this passage again—perhaps Paul had in mind both an internal and external audience.  We speak the truth in love—to each other, and to the world.  I think that Paul is saying that when a group of people, growing and maturing together, becoming more like Jesus, using their gifts together—when that community speaks out of love, people will listen.  And maybe we will be known not only for our words, but the love of Jesus in us as we speak truth. 

Questions for individuals:  Have you ever had someone confront you in something, but did it in a way that was unloving?  How did you take that?  On the other hand, did you ever have someone that you knew loved you, confront you, and it moved you to do something about it?  How might that change the way you speak to others? 

Questions for children and families: Paul speaks of us “being tossed back and forth, blown by the wind.” As my sailor friend said, a boat gets tossed and could get damaged when it isn’t heading on a certain course.  Have a conversation as a family:  where are we heading as a family?  What is our goal?  (As fall is approaching, with schedules filling up, how might that goal shape how you spend your time?)

Questions for the workplace:  Look at Paul’s phrase again:  “Speaking the truth…in love.”  What kind of culture exists in your workplace?  Is it one in which criticisms and “feedback” are given without regard for one’s feelings, in unloving ways?  Or, is it one in which you feel appreciated, even loved, for who you are?  Is it unrealistic to recognize “the whole person” in the workplace—their needs, dreams, emotions, struggles, and the rest?