Two years ago, I was preparing to preach my last sermon as senior pastor at Fremont Presbyterian Church, on Christmas Eve 2023 (the picture is from that very day!).  For 25 years, all I had trained for and worked in was that kind of work: being a pastor in a ministry or local church.  I had felt a longing to help those who were doing that kind of work, knowing very well what it was like.  I hoped to be “a pastor to pastors.” I know the challenges, joys, times of loneliness, having a sense of purpose and receiving affirmation, and much more. Two years ago, I didn’t know exactly what that work would look like, or who would want or need it.  

I see things differently now!  I am reminded of the words of Paul in his letter to the Ephesians:  

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…”

As we come to the end of 2025, I want to THANK YOU for considering supporting me in helping make my work possible.  You know I can’t share names, details, or photos of the people I’m caring for and coaching.  The confidentiality is important.  But the stories I hear are tragic, joyful, bewildering, inspiring, and hopeful. I often hear phrases like this:

“You’re the first person I’ve told this to…”

“I’ve never said this to anyone before.”

“I didn’t know who I could trust.”

I am now meeting on at least a monthly basis with: 

30 leaders, in 9 U.S. states and 4 countries.

They are:

10 associate pastors

9 senior or lead pastors

1 church planter

3 work in the marketplace

7 work in parachurch or other non-profit

I often receive calls from pastors, just needing to talk, run a leadership challenge by me, or celebrate a new development.

I check-in monthly with an additional sixteen leaders who serve with Standing Stone, in a new role as an Area Leader.  

I help lead two cohorts that meet monthly for encouragement and training.  One is a group of local pastors, and the other is a group of younger leaders who serve in various leadership roles in local non-profits. 

I am assisting an organization called The Barnabas Group vet new non-profits, both locally and internationally, that receive support and organizational problem-solving from local business leaders.  I also facilitate “ideation sessions,” where 8-10 business leaders help the executive directors of these non-profits move their organization forward in its mission.

Looking ahead to 2026!

Would you consider helping this work in 2026?  In order to keep up with what I’m doing, I have a goal of 10 new monthly donors in 2026.  

I understand that some people like to give one-time a year, and I would welcome annual giving as well!

If you serve an organization that can give matching gifts, would you consider asking?

If you serve a church with a budget to give towards new ministry, would you consider adding Standing Stone as a partner?  

If you’ve been blessed with a surplus in 2025, perhaps part of it could help support this work?

Please go to my giving page:

Burke, David

Look for a new Christmas picture of our whole family sometime soon!  We are traveling out to visit Hudson, my mom, and brother in the Washington, D.C. area for Christmas this year, and will take a new picture then!

Merry Christmas!

On this Giving Tuesday, I want to ask for your help. Help me continue this work I am doing in providing confidential care and coaching for pastors, ministry and marketplace leaders.

I currently meet with 30 leaders on a regular basis.

• They live in 9 U.S. states
• 4 international countries
• 10 are associate pastors in local churches
• 9 are senior or lead pastors in local churches
• 1 is planting a church
• 7 work in organizations outside the local church
• 3 work in the marketplace

Two years ago, a spiritual director said to me, “It sounds as if you are longing for the hidden work of deeper discipleship.” I have never forgotten those words. Two years later, I can say that these one-on-one and small-group conversations I get to have are hidden, but fruitful. I can’t show you the pictures of everyone I meet. But I get to offer what I do to these leaders who otherwise may not seek out this kind of help for FREE. It is the generosity of 96 people over those two years that have made that possible. Would you consider joining this team of ministry partners?

As the year comes to an end, I have a goal of raising $10,000 in one-time gifts, and $750 in new monthly giving. All gifts are tax-deductible. Click on the link below, and then on the button marked “Donate” to make a gift.

[By the way, in the picture above, there is some wildlife hidden. Can you see them? One happens to be looking right at the camera. Hopefully the resolution is good enough to see them…]

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/

I was in the hospital last week. It was not expected. I was going about my day of meetings, returned home, and began to feel a bit unusual. I felt confused, with some difficulty remembering things. Kelsey suggested me calling my doctor. The next thing I remember, I was on a video call, with Kelsey by my side, and the nurse suggested we go to the hospital. Once there, I described my symptoms to a group of doctors and nurses, with some help from Kelsey. A battery of tests followed—an MRI, CT scan, X-ray, bloodwork. To be safe, they kept me overnight. The next day, a neurologist ran some more tests, including an EEG. According to all those tests, they find me in good health.

It turns out I suffered my second episode of “transient global amnesia.” You can look it up. Each doctor told me that what is interesting and frustrating about this diagnosis are these things:

• There is no certain cause.
• There is nothing necessarily to be done to prevent it
• It is likely it will never happen again, as I have had two of these episodes now. (the first one was a few years ago).  It is extremely rare to happen a third time.

The main experience of the episode, which lasts several hours, is an inability to remember things in the short-term. I kept asking Kelsey the same questions, like “Why am I here in the hospital?” “How much longer will I be here?” But the underlying experience for me was a feeling of being completely out of control. 

I don’t think of myself as someone who “needs” to be in control (though I’m sure I am unaware of many places where I live differently!). But, I can honestly say I really didn’t like the feeling of being so out of control. To be unaware that I had just asked the same question of Kelsey moments before was very disconcerting, even embarrassing. To not know how long I would be kept in the hospital, to simply wait for the next test, the next doctor to visit, all was very uncomfortable, to say the least.

Some of you have had a similar experience, I’m sure. Or you care for someone who is battling a chronic disease. You are well aware of medical tests and treatments, doctors and nurses, hospitals, and waiting. And with that, the feeling of being out of control. 

The leaders I meet with often speak of this same experience. Not transient global amnesia, of course. But being out of control. In other words, they have this persistent sense they don’t have the agency to make necessary changes. Whether it be in their work-life balance, or their organizations. They report to me that it is sometimes a crisis that reveals how little control they truly have. Most of the leaders I serve primarily work with people. It is interesting how often the causes of this “out of control” feeling are the unexpected behaviors and decisions that other people make, and their reactions to their leadership. These leaders say something or change something, and find themselves all of a sudden in a maelstrom of hostility. What should they do in such a situation? Often I try to point out to those I am listening to how they are reacting to that sense of loss of control, and where they may be simply trying to seize more control. 

Unlike my trip to the hospital, where I sent through a battery of tests to declare me “healthy,” leaders do not necessarily have something like a “leadership EEG” to declare them healthy. And, truth be told, every leader has areas of unhealth in them. Good leadership depends on wise counsel from mentors, coaches, co-workers, and board members to speak into their patterns of leading, diagnosing and pointing out the unhealthy parts, and prescribing the right things to bring health again. 

END OF YEAR CAMPAIGN

I want to humbly ask if you would be willing to give towards my year-end goal, to help keep doing this work of providing care and coaching for leaders. I am aiming to raise $25,000 in one-time gifts, and a $1,000 increase in monthly giving. Reaching those two goals will keep in the “fully-funded” category for 2026.  I can tell you what a gift it is to be able to offer this coaching and care for free to many leaders. I have also received a generous offer from a new donor who will match up to $1,000 in new or renewed gifts. If you as an individual, or the company you work for has a matching gift program, or the church you attend or serve would be willing to consider giving at year-end or as part of the budget for 2026, I would be extremely grateful. Click on the link below!

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/

After being away from home for 13 out of the last 24 days, it is good to be home.

My time away has been both personal and professional:

• Speaking at a men’s retreat in Lake Tahoe for two churches.

• Parents’ weekend at San Diego State University, visiting our daughter McLean

• Speaking at a pastors’ retreat for 25 leaders in Grass Valley, CA.  

• Performing a wedding for a good friend in Pasadena, while squeezing in dinner with our son Crew (and roommate Eric!) at UCLA. 

Each place was beautiful in its own way.  But home is where I love to be.

When we are away from the place where we have a routine and a certain amount of the comforts of home, we begin to long for those things.  

When I spoke to the pastors at their retreat, one of the things we talked about was how hard it was for them to be “on” in so many places and for so many people.  I think one of the beautiful things about home is that we can let that go away for a time.  We talked about finding people and places where you feel “at home.”   

My hope is to be a place of “home” in conversation with these leaders.  Where they can be fully themselves.  Where they don’t have to be on.  Where they can relax and let go of the anxiety of leadership for a while.

Thank you for making this work possible.  As I approach the end of the year, I still need $25,000 in one-time or renewed annual giving to remain fully funded.  Many generous people helped me get there in 2024, and I hope that new people will join in this partnership to help leaders stay healthy and lead healthy work for their churches, non-profits and businesses.  If you as an individual, or your church, organization, or business, would like to support this work, I’d love to talk to you!      

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/

We recently had a yard sale. A water leak in kitchen led to warped flooring, which led to new flooring, which led to a kitchen re-do, which led to us having a bunch of stuff in our garage, which led to a yard sale. You get it. The picture above is the aftermath of the sale. But before that, we had the driveway full of items, with shoppers coming as early as 6am. There were several moments where we just told people who asked about an item, “That’s free.” Amidst a sea of items where one expects to pay, what does “free” feel like? 

I’ll tell you. I was referred to some leaders recently who have never talked about their stories with anyone. For decades of leadership and service. Who can they trust? How hard it is to admit they needed help? And, how could they afford it? When I told them that I get to offer this service for free, they were amazed. The look on their faces is a gift.

You’re one of the reasons why I get to see that look on their faces. 

From its beginning, Standing Stone has remained committed to offering this confidential coaching and care of ministry leaders for free. Even its founders, Jim and Debbie Hogan, raise their own financial support to do their work of coming alongside pastors and ministry leaders. They have long known how there are already so many barriers to leaders reaching out for help, and cost is only one of them. If each of us can call upon a group of people to support our work, then we can offer the gift of free those that need it. 

A generous partner continues to offer a matching gift to new monthly donors. If you have given once, or never given, and could commit to giving monthly, your gift will be matched!

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/

I frequently ask pastors, “How was last Sunday?”  Some of these leaders are not in the primary preaching or speaking role, and they might say: “It was easy, because I wasn’t preaching, so I just greeted people and helped here and there.”

But I know better. Sundays are anything but easy for pastors.

Imagine this: You walk into the sanctuary or worship meeting space, and instantly see:

The person who just finished their last chemotherapy treatment.

The person you saw in your office earlier that week that lost their job.

The couple whose wedding you officiated, that just returned from their honeymoon. 

The author of that unfair email.

A family you don’t recognize, and you make a mental note to make sure you welcome them and introduce yourself.

The person who always wants to use brief moments to tell long, awkward stories and you’re worried that if you engage them, you won’t ever get to the new family. 

I could go on and on.  Every Sunday, pastors are doing things that no one else sees, even when it doesn’t look like they’re doing much.  Internally, their dialogue can sound like this:

Be welcoming.

Be patient.

Be helpful.

Be caring and compassionate.  

Be available. 

Be bold (for instance, asking someone to help).

Pastors are constantly scanning the crowd for needed connections, new visitors, care follow-up, and asking versions of “How are you…really?” without breaking confidence in front of others. They make mental notes of who is there and who isn’t there.  They make more mental notes after brief interactions, trying to remember to continue unfinished conversations.   And much, much more. Sounds easy, right?  

I hope to bring that kind of understanding to pastors— that I see what others may not see.  And that their hidden work of navigating the joys and sorrows in others’ lives, all in the span of a few hours on a Sunday morning, is anything but easy.  

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/