“Look, the place is full again!”

A board member told this to a pastor, who was telling me the story.  They were standing in the back of their Sunday morning gathering.  The board member had an excited look on their face, clapping the pastor on the back as he said it. And the pastor told me, “And I didn’t feel anything.”

Last time I wrote, I spoke about how we know it might be time for a change.  Change  in how we approach our work, our boundaries in work and life, or when ultimately it might be time to leave.  In Part 1 of this series, I wrote about how our health might be a sign of the need to change.  In Part 2, I want to talk about noticing what we celebrate.

The story above is true, and came in the context of the years following 2021, where attendance at church had taken a deep dive in this church.  A few years later, the pastor was noticing how much his fellow staff and leadership was concerned with “getting people back in the building.”  When a board member celebrated that day where it seemed like “people were back,” this pastor noticed his lack of excitement about it.  

He told me, “I found myself saying, “So what?”  

There is nothing wrong with more people coming to a church.  There is nothing inherently wrong with growth in an organization.  But if numerical growth is the primary value, and the leadership does not share that same value, then that is a recipe for a problem.  This pastor shared with me that he no longer was motivated by the crowd, and didn’t know what to do with that. 

I recently read an article in Inc. that spoke of “surface acting” in organizations.  Surface acting “involves employees and business leaders either adopting emotional responses to what they believe are required of them in workplace settings, or quashing the display of sincere feelings they fear may not be professionally well received. It turns out all that careful adjusting and censorship of internal reactions on the job often proves to be exhausting.”

In other words, feigning excitement for the sake of the organization wears people out.  In the work I do with pastors and organizational leaders, I hear them speak of this, even if they don’t use the words “surface acting.”  The values and priorities of the organization seem to may initially resonate with the individual, but as time passes, each leader may begin to change their priorities.  

I’m working with a number of younger leaders, who first began their work because they loved a particular part of it—meeting with young people, or teaching and helping people learn in smaller settings.  But, as the leader is recognized for their work and gifts, they often “move up” in their responsibilities, which ironically takes them further and further away from what they first loved.  

At first read, this might appear to be the “natural” growth that comes with leadership. But when leaders find themselves “surface acting,” and no longer able to honestly celebrate what the organization is celebrating, it may be time for a change. 

Can you identify what you celebrate in your work?

An Honest Plea For Support

I am able to offer this coaching and care for leaders for free because of the generosity of people like you.  Due to recent changes in some people’s capacity to give, I am in need of additional support this year to keep this work going.  My goal is $1,000 per month in new or increased support.  If you have never given to this work, I’d love to talk to you personally about it and ask for your support. If you are able to increase your monthly gift, would you please consider that as well?  There is a link below to give.

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/