The Gift of Free

We recently had a yard sale. A water leak in kitchen led to warped flooring, which led to new flooring, which led to a kitchen re-do, which led to us having a bunch of stuff in our garage, which led to a yard sale. You get it. The picture above is the aftermath of the sale. But before that, we had the driveway full of items, with shoppers coming as early as 6am. There were several moments where we just told people who asked about an item, “That’s free.” Amidst a sea of items where one expects to pay, what does “free” feel like? 

I’ll tell you. I was referred to some leaders recently who have never talked about their stories with anyone. For decades of leadership and service. Who can they trust? How hard it is to admit they needed help? And, how could they afford it? When I told them that I get to offer this service for free, they were amazed. The look on their faces is a gift.

You’re one of the reasons why I get to see that look on their faces. 

From its beginning, Standing Stone has remained committed to offering this confidential coaching and care of ministry leaders for free. Even its founders, Jim and Debbie Hogan, raise their own financial support to do their work of coming alongside pastors and ministry leaders. They have long known how there are already so many barriers to leaders reaching out for help, and cost is only one of them. If each of us can call upon a group of people to support our work, then we can offer the gift of free those that need it. 

A generous partner continues to offer a matching gift to new monthly donors. If you have given once, or never given, and could commit to giving monthly, your gift will be matched!

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/

Recovery.

I recently had surgery, and in a few days, will have another one.  When I went about informing people that I would be taking some days off to recover, everyone seemed to understand.  “Get better soon!”  “Hope all goes well!”  “Take the time you need!”  “No rush!”  We all understand the need for physical recovery. 

But what about other kinds of recovery?

Emotional?

Mental?

Spiritual?

I think our culture has made some headway in understanding emotional and mental health.  And more attention is being directed towards spiritual health. But speaking out loud about the need for these other kinds of recovery can be very difficult.   With the pastors and leaders I am listening to, their expressing a need for recovery can be risky. Asking for time off can be seen as weakness, and people may perceive them as not being “cut out” for this kind of leadership.  Some of it can be attributed to an ignorance of what pastors and ministry leaders do. There are still people who assume, for instance, that pastors only “work one day a week.”  

I read this article this morning about celiac disease (which I have), and I thought this particular segment applied here:  

People often report being dismissed or misunderstood when they say they feel mentally impaired after eating gluten. Employers, teachers, and even family members may not believe them or may assume it’s psychological.But acknowledging that the “glutened brain” is rooted in biology helps validate their experience. (article here).

What does this have to do with the need for recovery in leadership?  I found it interesting that those that report feeling “brain fog,” or mental impairment, or exhaustion assume it’s “psychological.”  But note how the idea that something is “rooted in biology” is more validating.  Does labeling things as “psychological” imply they are less valid?

As we are made in the image of God, I believe our physical, mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual selves are all valid.  Recovery for all those parts is vital. 

A personal illustration: I found towards the end of my work as a pastor that I often could not even remember what I spoke about the Sunday before.  I had learned to move on to the next week very quickly.  There was little recovery time, because “Sunday’s comin’!”  Pastors have been doing this for decades.  Many pastors have no choice but to keep plugging along, doing their best.  

Each profession and occupation, I’m sure, has its analogous experiences.  There are seasons of intense busyness, whether it be project completion, launch of new products, budget approval, going to trial, exam taking and grading—the list could go on and on.

The question for all of us is this:  

When we will validate the need for recovery time for ourselves and our teams?

MATCHING GIFT OPPORTUNITY

If you have never given, given once, or given annually, and would like to shift to monthly giving, you can have your gift matched!  A generous donor has offered to match new monthly gifts, and there is still time to do this! Click here to donate.

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/