I frequently ask pastors, “How was last Sunday?”  Some of these leaders are not in the primary preaching or speaking role, and they might say: “It was easy, because I wasn’t preaching, so I just greeted people and helped here and there.”

But I know better. Sundays are anything but easy for pastors.

Imagine this: You walk into the sanctuary or worship meeting space, and instantly see:

The person who just finished their last chemotherapy treatment.

The person you saw in your office earlier that week that lost their job.

The couple whose wedding you officiated, that just returned from their honeymoon. 

The author of that unfair email.

A family you don’t recognize, and you make a mental note to make sure you welcome them and introduce yourself.

The person who always wants to use brief moments to tell long, awkward stories and you’re worried that if you engage them, you won’t ever get to the new family. 

I could go on and on.  Every Sunday, pastors are doing things that no one else sees, even when it doesn’t look like they’re doing much.  Internally, their dialogue can sound like this:

Be welcoming.

Be patient.

Be helpful.

Be caring and compassionate.  

Be available. 

Be bold (for instance, asking someone to help).

Pastors are constantly scanning the crowd for needed connections, new visitors, care follow-up, and asking versions of “How are you…really?” without breaking confidence in front of others. They make mental notes of who is there and who isn’t there.  They make more mental notes after brief interactions, trying to remember to continue unfinished conversations.   And much, much more. Sounds easy, right?  

I hope to bring that kind of understanding to pastors— that I see what others may not see.  And that their hidden work of navigating the joys and sorrows in others’ lives, all in the span of a few hours on a Sunday morning, is anything but easy.  

I am serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for over twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/