What does it mean to be connected?

I recently had the opportunity to speak at a men’s retreat for a local church. We looked at three stories in the gospel of John, all focusing on the theme of connection. I briefly introduced them to systems theory, and the idea of differentiating yourself in the midst of uncertainty and anxiety (thank you Steve Cuss!). Differentiation, according to Trisha Taylor, means being defined and connected.

Defined:  Who I am, What I will Do, What I Won’t Do.

Connected:  Still able to be with people who see things differently and difficult people.

I talked about the “Connected Man,” and showed them how Jesus was truly connected—he knew who he was, what he came to do, and stayed connected with others despite their own agendas. I shared with them that people who study systems theory say that Jesus of Nazareth exemplified differentiation the most in human history!

Consider the story we find in John 6. You may have heard the story of Jesus taking five loaves and two fish, and feeding thousands of people. But John includes this interesting ending to the story:

Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself. (John 6:15)

Have you ever thought about that before? You might say, “Wait, don’t we want Jesus to be king?” This is the height of Jesus’ popularity and influence. He has drawn crowds, showed his power over creation, and provided for their needs. Yet he does not bow down to the agenda the crowd has for him. He would not be the king that the crowd wanted.  But he would be the king of Kings we all need.

If you read through the gospels with this lens of how Jesus stayed true to Himself, and still stayed connected to people, you will be surprised. Again and again, we see verses like this one in John 2:

But Jesus knew what was in their hearts, and he would not let them have power over him. (John 2:24)

Yes, there are times, like the one in John 6, where he withdraws to be alone. But he returns to his disciples, to the crowd, to teach them about God and His kingdom, because He loves them with an everlasting love.

I gave each of the men one of the Lego mini-figures, like the one pictured above. I said, “These mini-figures are only meant to remind you of your need to stay connected.  To God, to your loved ones, and to one another.”

May we look at Jesus with new eyes—the truly Connected One. Who so loved us that He did not allow our ideas of who he should be, nor our agendas for what he should do, to distract him from being the King we all need.

I am now serving with a ministry called Standing Stone, which has aimed for twenty years to provide a space for free, confidential coaching and care for pastors, ministry leaders, and leaders of every sphere. Standing Stone believes that healthy leaders need companions on their leadership journey, and that healthy leaders will lead healthy organizations that help transform their communities. You can learn more here: https://standingstoneministry.org/shepherd/burke-david/